All you want is for them to be happy, but that in turn causes you pain.
Being selfish is not working. It just hurts when you see them sad. Knowing that you can take away their happiness is even worse. It literally tears you apart.
Sometimes, letting go is the best. There's not much point in worrying, stressing, and making yourself dread something. Over-thinking can really drive yourself up the wall. So really, letting go makes things...So.Much.Easier.
But it's hard for me to do that. I wish I can take things one step at a time, cross the bridge when you come to it, blah blah blah, but I can't. I get a tick if I don't know what's going to happen next, or if I can't anticipate it, or if there's going to be an unknown disruption to previously made plans. It literally sets me up to be grouchy, annoyed, angry, and whatever else.
Then when things are over and done with, and I look back at it, I realize how ridiculous it is to worry or stress myself out. It becomes really silly. Why did I get myself so worked up when there are so many simple solutions or when things would be able to work themselves out? I've got no idea why.
So you see, it's much better to just let go. Worry less and just let things fall into place, life would be so much easier. Unfortunately I don't think I can. I want to, but it seems I'm forever stuck in this controlling hold. I want to let go or at least be let go, how do I go about that?
By the way, I think I've written about this before. I can't really remember. This is what happens when you rarely blog and have a bad memory.
